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| They demand instant gratification and more often than not their doting15) parents let them have it. “Teenagers of today possess a distinct sense of entitlement,” says Suzanne Franks, co-author of the brilliantly titled Get Out of My Life, but First Take Me and Alex into Town. “We want them to feel loved, but we need to stop trying to be so popular. If they become tethered to us then that is our fault.” According to Rob Parsons, author of Teenagers: What Every Parent Has to Know, “You rarely meet a parent who doesn’t want the best for their child. The problem is not that we don’t love them enough, but that we love them too much. We want everything for them — the extra tutors, the holidays, the custom-made ski boots that won’t rub. Instead of saying ‘Go get a Saturday job if you want to go clubbing? you see parents hand over the money — and then ask their teenagers if they can go clubbing with them. That may appear cute, but it is not good. As parents, you have got to be prepared to take the unpopularity hit.” So what is the outlook for the tethered generation? Happily, parents can rest assured that it is not as gloomy as they might have feared. While child-rearing16) has evolved, so too has the corporate world. To attract these young people, companies have had to adjust their thinking. According to Tony Schneider, a human resources consultant who has worked for several multinationals, the days of the manager who throws a piece of paper across the room and barks “do it again” are numbered. So are curt17) “not what I wanted” e-mails. “The graduates coming into the employment market don’t thrive on the fear factor. They are used to being mentored and cared for. They don’t respect hierarchy18) for its own sake. They need to be impressed before they will listen. They expect to be treated with fairness and understanding. And if they don’t get what they want, they are quite prepared to move on.” This approach works, of course, for as long as the economy remains buoyant19) and competition for high-caliber graduates remains intense. “The ones who make out best long term will be those who have the education and confidence, but who can also survive the knocks,” says Schneider. “The best thing we can do for our teenagers is to back off20). Stop mollycoddling21) them,” says Franks. Parenting is about many things, but ultimately it is about letting go. That much hasn’t changed. 乔希今年16岁，他不抽烟，不吸毒，也从来不喝得烂醉如泥。在学校，他人缘好，学习刻苦，又不招人厌。在家里，他虽然沉迷于上MSN和玩游戏机，但只要给他提个醒，他就会练习吹萨克斯。他言谈幽默，与父母相处得也非常融洽。听起来像个完美少年吧？且慢。 乔希身上折射出的是一种新的社会现象——“圈养的一代”。 在这个有史以来最以孩子为中心的时代，这些孩子与父母关系可能过于融洽了。父母亲对他们百依百顺，并且提供一切所需。在许许多多育儿指南的帮助下，父母们都力争培养出自信而又适应性强的下一代。父母与孩子们之间的交流比以往任何时候都更加开放。 冲突依然存在，这也是预料之中的，比如不收拾房间、不洗碗、不做作业，可是很多父母会自豪地宣称他们的孩子也是他们的朋友。然而，这种友谊让我们不禁担心：我们是否养育了一代无法独立生活的人？ “我的儿子特别依赖我，”乔希的母亲、42岁的律师卡罗琳说：“我真担心，他将来怎样才能跳出和我们在一起衣食无忧的生活，走向独立。” 48岁的路易丝是一名通信技术顾问，育有三个孩子。对于儿子卢克，她也感到了同样的忧虑。“从某种意义上讲，我觉得一个任性、不听话的孩子要更好管教一些，这样我还可以有的放矢。而我的孩子却似乎根本不理解生活中的种种现实。假如他要等到工作时才明白在压力下能屈能伸的重要性，那么现在我好像无法把这个观点灌输给他。他的老师们说，他需要培养对成就的渴望——而我却觉得很内疚，因为正是我心肠太软了，才造成了他的懒散。” |
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