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| My husband works in M&A as an associate. Lots of his colleagues have been fired, so he works every day till midnight and at weekends. In his little time off, he sleeps, watches TV and sees friends for a drink. He took the job to get rich, but he won’t get a bonus this year. He is stressed and nervous, sleeps with his BlackBerry and keeps complaining. He wants a new job – but doesn’t know what he wants to do. It’s too risky for him to quit in current times, but his job is damaging both of us. 我丈夫就职于一家并购公司，担任助理职务。他的许多同事都被解雇了，因此现在他每天都工作到深夜，周末也经常加班。在为数不多的空闲时间，他不是睡觉、看电视，就是和朋友喝酒。他开始做这个工作，是为了变成有钱人。但从现在情况看，他今年显然不会拿到太多奖金（如果有的话）。他变得压力很大，且十分焦虑。他睡觉时枕边放着黑莓，并且不停地抱怨。他想找一份新工作——但不知道自己想做什么。我认为目前辞职风险太大，但他的工作对我们两人都造成了伤害。 Client adviser, female, 28 客户顾问，女，28岁 LUCY’S ANSWER 露西的回答 I wonder which part of your predicament bothers you most. 我想知道哪种情况最让你感到烦恼。 Is it that the expected riches have not materialised? Is it the way your husband works the whole time? Is it his incessant complaining? Is it the BlackBerry by the bed? Is it the way he watches telly, sleeps and sees his friends? Or is it that even though he claims to hate his job, he can’t think of anything he’d like better? 是你丈夫没有成为有钱人？是他大部分时间都在工作？还是他不停地抱怨？或者是床头的黑莓？还是他看电视、睡觉、和朋友喝酒的行为？或者是尽管他宣称讨厌自己的工作，却不会想想自己更喜欢哪种工作？ I can see that all of these could be annoying – with the possible exception of sleeping, which deserves a little tolerance. If he were my husband, what I would dislike most would be his wanting to leave but being clueless about what to do instead. If he can’t think of alternatives, the endless complaint does not deserve endless sympathy. For now, he is stuck where he is. Unless he has a private fortune – which you imply he hasn’t – it would be madness to quit until he has another job or scheme up his sleeve. 我能理解所有这些问题都可能令人烦恼——或许除了睡觉之外，这应该值得宽容。如果他是我丈夫，我最不喜欢的就是他想离职，却对离职后做什么工作毫无头绪。如果他不考虑换个工作，只是无休止的抱怨，那么就不值得你一直同情他。目前他陷入了困境。除非他有一笔私人财产——你的信里似乎暗示他没有——否则，在找到另一份工作或有什么锦囊妙计之前，辞职将是非常愚蠢的。 For you, this means finding a way of being less bothered by it all. As far as the money goes, I assume that will get better if he sticks it out. The hours, however, are not likely to improve much. This sort of work demands a lot of time. The BlackBerry beside the bed strikes me as something you should learn to live with: I’ve never known why people make quite such a fuss about this. We all have other distracting things by our beds – books and telephones and newspapers – and so long as we sometimes close them and put them away, it isn’t the end of the world. Having drinks with friends isn’t that bad either: at least he has friends, which is more than many unhappy men do. 对你而言，这意味着你要设法减少所有这些问题带来的烦恼。至于钱的问题，我觉得如果他坚持做下去就会有改观。不过，在工作时间上不太可能有太大改善。这种工作就需要投入大量的时间。我觉得你应该学会对放在床头的黑莓习以为常：我从不知道人们为什么要对这种东西大惊小怪。我们都会在床头放其它会让人分心的东西——书、电话和报纸。只要我们有时把它关掉或者拿开，那就不是世界末日。与朋友一起喝酒也并非那么糟糕：至少他还有朋友，这一点比许多不开心的男人好多了。 The only really troubling thing in this picture is that he never seems to make any time for you. If he isn’t prepared to be nice to you in his spare time, I fear that a change of job may not make things much better. 这种情况下唯一真正令人不安的是，他似乎从没有为你留出任何时间。如果他没打算在闲暇之时对你好点，我担心即使换个工作也无济于事。 |
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