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We have the only house in our neighborhood with no video games. My son has explained to me many times how this makes us freakish aliens from space. I truly believe that video games were created by Satan to turn otherwise normal children into his drooling, glassy-eyed stooges. After my son plays them at his friends’ houses, he comes home irritable and testy for the rest of the day. Even though his skin is normally mocha-colored, after a day spent in a darkened room with a controller in his hand, he comes home with a sickly pallor. This is a huge dilemma for me, because I always had this fantasy that my house would be the one that all the kids congregated at after school. I would be the “fun mom,” the one who made popsicles, the one in the TV commercial with all the kids crowded around the kitchen counter, demanding more of those little pizza nuggets. Unfortunately, since we have neither video games nor a swimming pool, this does not happen. No one demands over-processed Kraft snack foods from my kitchen — because my son goes over to other kids houses to get his video fix. And it seems, where we live at least, that middle school boys can’t do anything in packs except play video games. So, without them, they inhabit our house for only nanoseconds before they want to leave. This dilemma led me this Christmas to consider getting a video game system, at least a Wii that we could all play together. The kids pointed out that I spent $82 the last time we all went bowling, and with the Wii, we could bowl at home for free. But, with other priorities like a new bike and sewing machine, no Wii got purchased. Plus, Cheetah Boy got a C on his report card, and I don’t want to reward him with anything until that grade comes up. My anti-video game attitude was only reinforced recently, when I read a story in the Boston Herald about a mom who was so frustrated by her son’s obsessive video gaming that she finally called 911. Apparently, her 14-year-old had become so fixated on “Grand Theft Auto” that he refused to stop playing it. The trouble in her house started after she woke up at 2 a.m. and found her son playing the game on his bedroom computer. In case you’re not familiar with “Grand Theft Auto,” this is a socially conscious educational game, in which players portray criminals and earn points by stealing cars, killing people and destroying property. This mom unplugged her son’s computer when he refused to get off, which led to a fight, which led to a visit from the cops. grand-theft-auto-ivIt took two Boston cops to convince the kid to turn off his video game and go to bed. Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me one bit. I see kids walking around, oblivious to the world, with those hand-held video games everywhere I go. On one horrible afternoon that scarred me for life, I even saw a kid walking out of the public library playing a Nintendo DS. We have family friends whose son has a DS he’s allowed to play only in the car. Often, when they come over, he pesters his mom over and over to go out to the car, because apparently there’s not enough fun to be had in our house without this boy and my son sitting in the car playing the DS. Here’s my question: When do kids ever think these days? When do they ever have brains free from electronics long enough to ponder the universe? To think of things that might someday lead them to a cure for cancer? If Sir Isaac Newton had been playing a DS, I’m sure he never would have noticed the apple falling from the tree, so he never would have formulated the theory of gravity. I was an odd, geeky kid most of my childhood. I was too weird for most of the other kids to play with, so I spent most of my time reading obsessively, which of course only made me more of a dweeb. The difference is, in all that reading, I was actually learning stuff about the world, in a way that kids today never will. I was also learning to think creatively, spell and build my vocabulary to the point that I was able to get a job as a professional writer, where people pay me to ride on fire engines, go on ride-alongs with cops and insult the makers of video games. My kids do play games, outdoors in the fresh air, where they’re building their muscles and hopefully a lifetime habit of fitness. What are the kids who play “Grand Theft Auto” learning? How to be carjackers? How to be pursued by police? Those are skills I really want my children to acquire. Maybe we can get the entire “Grand Theft Auto” series and start a new dynasty. |
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