| [00:00.00]Iwaited a day before calling [00:02.73]Dr. Sam to inform him of [00:04.26]my decision. I had to be sure! [00:06.44]“Miriam, I think I know [00:08.97]why you want to go through [00:10.27]with this pregnancy, but [00:11.48]are you aware of the risks?” [00:12.80]“I know my baby will be [00:14.65]different. I know she may be [00:16.30]mentally and physically retarded. [00:17.93]She may have developmental difficulties [00:19.80]and problems with social acceptance. [00:22.09]I do recognize that I am [00:24.48]going to have to amend [00:25.69]almost every facet of my life. [00:27.55]I am prepared to do that. [00:29.18]This is my final gift [00:30.93]from Paul and I am determined [00:33.01]to go through with this!” [00:34.33]“I thought you would feel [00:35.75]that way. You have my utmost [00:37.39]admiration and support. I will [00:39.58]follow your pregnancy carefully [00:41.44]but I want you to see [00:42.65]a specialist in birth defects. [00:43.96]I will refer you to Dr. Brown [00:45.70]and would like you to make [00:47.13]an appointment with her [00:48.22]as soon as possible,” he said. [00:49.53]I knew then that I had [00:51.29]made the right choice. [00:52.79]My pregnancy was not without [00:55.20]its hardships, from morning sickness [00:57.38]to swollen ankles, but I had [00:59.25]no doubts about the decision [01:00.77]I had made. My parents, when [01:02.63]I told them what was going [01:04.72]on with me, expressed their concerns [01:06.25]but also their confidence [01:07.56]in my decision and assured me [01:09.42]they would be there when [01:10.51]I delivered my baby. [01:11.60]Paula was born on a bright, [01:14.45]cloudless, warm Tuesday morning [01:16.86]in May. I was prepared to [01:18.61]see a red, wrinkled, squalling infant. [01:21.01]Instead, I saw very little. [01:22.98]Because of the risks involved, [01:25.28]Paula was delivered by Caesarian section. [01:28.46]The doctors and nurses rushed her [01:30.31]into an incubatorto assess her [01:32.50]before I caught a glimpse of her. [01:34.25]I could see my parents [01:35.79]on the other side of [01:37.20]the operating room window, questions [01:38.63]in their eyes. What was going on? [01:40.59]The nurses kept me comfortable [01:43.66]and tried to alleviate my fears [01:44.97]but half an hour passed before [01:47.28]our questions were answered. [01:48.80]My daughter had a severe heart defect. [01:51.75]It could be corrected through surgery [01:54.49]but not until she gained [01:56.03]a little weight and strength. [01:57.99]I understood in that moment that [01:59.85]my life had changed forever. [02:01.93]I demanded to see her immediately, [02:03.90]and as soon as I did, [02:05.66]I fell in love. This most [02:07.51]precious of all gifts was [02:08.82]going to survive the obstacles [02:10.14]ahead of her with my help. [02:12.22]I knew in an instant that [02:14.40]all my strength,love, and [02:16.15]monetary resources were at [02:17.69]her command. Nothing she wanted, [02:19.99]needed, or even dreamed [02:21.51]of, would ever be denied. [02:23.27]The heart surgery to correct [02:25.68]a flawed valve was a resounding success. [02:28.19]Fortunately, the common defects [02:30.60]occurring in a majority [02:31.80]of Down's syndrome children [02:33.00]were absent in Paula. She has [02:35.30]no intestinal malformations, hearing impairment, [02:38.37]or severe visual problems. [02:40.55]We are truly blessed. [02:42.63]My parents adore this exceptional grandchild. [02:46.02]Their expertise in teaching, nurturing, [02:48.65]and parenting has been so welcome. [02:51.05]I always knew they were there [02:53.03]for me; now they are there for us. [02:54.78]I am aware of the sympathetic [02:57.73]looks from strangers who don't know [02:59.37]or understand the disorder [03:00.68]afflicting my child. Their pity, [03:03.09]for what they ascertain as [03:04.73]my plight, is misplaced but understandable. [03:07.69]I am sure that I, too, [03:09.54]felt sorry for parents of what [03:11.62]I thought of as imperfect children. [03:13.81]Paula is a delightful child. [03:16.22]Her physical defects are apparent; [03:18.29]there is no doubt she is [03:19.61]different from other children. [03:21.03]However, she goes to school [03:23.00]with other children her age; [03:24.53]she takes longer to learn things [03:26.07] and has to work harder, [03:27.16]but she is achieving all [03:28.69]the milestones of growing children. [03:30.77]Raising her is a challenge, [03:33.28]as is the raising of any child. [03:35.14]It isn't easy and it won't get easier. [03:38.10]As she grows and develops, [03:40.40]there will be questions to answer, [03:42.25]hurdles to cross, and goals [03:43.89]to reach. Paula is different. [03:46.08]She is aware that she is. [03:47.84]It doesn't dismay her. She greets [03:50.68]each day with a smile on her [03:51.99]lips and a sparkle in her eye. [03:53.42]Do I ever have doubts about [03:56.37]my decision? No! My only regret [03:59.10] is that Paul isn't here to [04:00.64]share my joy in our wonderful daughter. |
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