| [00:00.00]UNIT7 [00:12.89]The Decision [00:14.21]Dr. Sam said to me: [00:17.05]“I don't know how to [00:18.48]say this, except to come [00:19.79]right out with it, Miriam. [00:21.21]The tests we did last week [00:22.96]show that there are abnormalities [00:24.28]with the fetus. I recommend [00:26.36]you consider an abortion.” [00:27.99]I sat, hands folded together in [00:30.84]my lap, numbed by his words. [00:32.92]The world around me disappeared [00:34.88]as I strove to absorb [00:36.20]the dreadful news Dr. Sam [00:37.62]was giving me. His voice [00:39.70]came to me as if spoken [00:41.23]in a tunnel, hollow and echoing. [00:44.29]Could this be true? The baby [00:46.37]inside me, the miracle created [00:48.67]by love, wasn't perfect! [00:50.42]“Your baby has a condition [00:52.61]known as Down's Syndrome. The problems [00:55.12]you will face if you don't [00:57.09]terminate this pregnancy could be [00:58.63]overwhelming, especially now that [01:01.04]Paul is no longer with you.” [01:03.01]Here I was, thirty nine [01:05.52]years old, pregnant for the first time, [01:08.14]and my doctor, my trusted friend, [01:10.56]was telling me I should kill [01:12.96]this innocent life in my womb. [01:14.38]I knew I had to respond [01:16.46]but words escaped me. Finally, [01:18.21]I was able to speak. “I need [01:20.95]some time to consider my options. [01:22.80]With all that has happened [01:24.55]in the past month and a half, [01:25.76]I don't want to do anything [01:26.96]without knowing all I can about this.” [01:29.48]“You don't have long, Miriam. [01:31.67]You are eleven weeks along [01:33.31]and it's dangerous to perform [01:34.73]an abortion after twelve weeks, [01:36.15]try not to prolong your decision.” [01:39.00]“It's too much for me to [01:41.07]get my head around right now. [01:42.61]I need to think. I promise [01:44.47]Ill get back to you [01:45.78]in a day or so.” I left [01:47.42]the office in a daze. [01:48.95]What was I going to do? [01:50.05]Where would I begin? Who, [01:51.80] besides Dr. Sam, would be able [01:54.42]to advise me? My parents were [01:56.83]on the other side of the world, [01:58.47]teaching in China. I felt that [02:01.31]if I could talk to Mom, [02:02.74]held in her comforting arms, [02:04.60]she would give me some [02:05.58]of her wisdom. If I could [02:07.66]be face-to-face with Dad, he would [02:09.96]give me strength. They were [02:11.82]all I had left in my world. [02:13.35] My husband, Paul, had been killed [02:16.31]in a traffic accident six weeks ago. [02:18.93]Mom and Dad had gone back to [02:20.57]China a week after the funeral, [02:22.32]when they thought I was [02:23.52]able to cope with my loss. [02:24.95]There was nowhere to turn. [02:26.70]I had to face reality. [02:29.11]This was a decision [02:30.63]I would make on my own. [02:32.28]I needed to gather all the information [02:35.01]I could about Down's syndrome. [02:36.54]I wasted no time. I went to [02:39.28]the library to begin my research. [02:40.92]The steps to the future [02:42.78]were in my hands. [02:43.98]The first medical journal I chose [02:46.50]explained the causes of Down's syndrome. [02:49.45]Normally, each egg and sperm cell [02:52.30]contains 23 chromosomes, and, [02:54.92]when they unite, 23 pairs [02:58.21]or 46 in total. Occasionally, [03:01.16]an accident occurs when the egg [03:03.90]or sperm cell is forming, [03:05.65]creating an extra chromosome number 21. [03:08.38]This extra chromosome results in [03:11.88]the features of Down's syndrome. [03:13.85]In the past, this disorder was [03:16.37]called “Mongolism” because of [03:18.12]the facial characteristics including [03:20.09]slanted eyes and a small, flattened [03:21.95]nasal bridge. It is a common [03:24.68]genetic birth defect affecting about [03:27.09]one in 800 to 1000 births when [03:29.93]the mother is 30 years of age. [03:32.01]The odds of my having a Down syndrome [03:34.64]increased to one in 100 because [03:36.72]I was in my fortieth year. [03:39.24]There is no cure for this disorder. [03:41.86]Neither is there any prevention. [03:44.05]My child would be developmentally and [03:46.35]physically retarded to a greater [03:48.29]or lesser degree. She could have [03:51.13]numerous health problems. It was unlikely [03:53.54]she would ever marry and [03:55.07]her having children was out [03:56.49]of the question. Her life expectancy [03:58.24]could be as little as 55 years. [04:01.08]Paul and I had been married [04:03.71]for ten years and had always [04:05.24]regretted the fact that I had [04:06.88]been unable to conceive. After [04:09.18]he died, I attributed my nausea, vomiting [04:12.68]and lethargy to my grief, never [04:15.09]suspecting that I might be pregnant. [04:17.27]Poor Paul would never know that [04:19.79]we would have a child together. [04:21.43]This thought alone was what [04:23.73]made me realize that I wouldn't [04:25.48]be able to have an abortion, [04:26.69]no matter what obstacles [04:27.89]might be ahead of us |
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