I know what you’re thinking. In a greedy, self-obsessed world, why do we need an article that advises against sharing? And with your girlfriends for that matter?! What kind of monster would write such a thing?
Allow me to explain.
First of all, let me say this: I value friendship. In fact I think it is beautiful, essential, and joyous. But it also takes work. As all relationships do. So sometimes, you have to brainstorm ways to make your friendships run more smoothly. One of those strategies is to know what to share with your friends. And believe it or not, one of them is to know what not to share with them.
Still not convinced? Give me a few minutes of your time and I think you’ll come around.
1. Ex-Boyfriends
A big fat “DUH” better have escaped from your lips when you read this, but it merits mention on this list. For your close, “sisterhood of the traveling pants” gaggle of girlfriends, this is one thing that will NEVER work out well. Let’s face it, unless you are a woman who considers “exes” guys you’ve had two or three dinners with, keep your ex boyfriends where they belong: trolling the streets wondering why they let you go. Oh and nowhere near any of your dear friends.
2. Perfume
Sound silly? Think again. I recall the “Great Perfume Debacle of 2002” when Jess bought the same perfume as Briana. What’s worse, Bri had worn this same perfume for like five years or something. It was her signature scent, a part of her identity almost. You obviously can’t stop anyone from buying your perfume, but for the sake of your individuality, try and keep your scent to yourself. You’ll be glad you did.
3. Jealousy
You may argue that this is not something you really “share” with your girlfriends, but I beg to differ. Everyone knows what it feels like when someone you are close to isn’t happy when something good happens to you. It’s the worst gift you can unknowingly give to your friend. When Clare gets a new car, Lauren gets a boyfriend, or Annie gets a promotion, fight the urge to dance with that little green monster. Your friendships will be much stronger because of it.
4. Bad Habits
They say misery loves company but if you find yourself in the trenches of a new bad habit, resist the urge to share the experience and pull one of your girlfriends down with you. Whether its late night runs to McDonalds, smoking, cursing, or gossiping, don’t tempt one of your friends to fall in step with your vice of the month.
5. Prescriptions
Okay seriously, I don’t care how close you are. Don’t play Grey’s Anatomy and swap pills. This may sound like an innocent idea but it can get scary fast.
6. Food That Tastes/Smells Bad
This is just one of my pet peeves. You know the scene: a good friend of yours gets something at a restaurant, takes a bite, makes a grimace and says “Oh my gosh this is awful, taste/smell this.” Be the change you wish to see in the world; try instead to share with friends whenever you order something fantastically delicious.
7. Mascara
Most of the time sharing makeup is one of the best parts about getting ready with your girlfriends. There is an exception though, according to most doctors. Mascara is one of the germiest of makeup accessories and can turn into a weapon of bacteria and infection when shared. And as much as I love my girlfriends, I love my vision more.
8. Negativity
This is one of those things that is as contagious as the swine flu. If you are in a mood and want to complain and moan about work, men, traffic, etc, it certainly is ok to vent to your girlfriends. The problem comes, however, when you pick one thing and become the notorious Debbie Downer about it. Do not force your friends to share in this ongoing outlook. In enough time, they will start associating you with the sound effect, “Wah Wahhhhh.”
9. Money
I’m not talking about sharing five dollars here or twenty dollars there. I’m talking about loans of substantial porportion. I have seen with my own two eyes (the same two that are not sharing bacteria with any of my friends thankyouverymuch) friendships completely fall apart under the stress and pressure of money issues. Money is sticky enough to navigate on your own, but add in another person’s emotions and you have the fuel for a destructive fire. Avoid lending large amounts of money to your girlfriends at all costs. It just may save your friendship.
At their foundation, friendships truly are about sharing life together. Moments of joy, moments of sadness, adventures, phases, relationships, highs, lows, fashion trends, fashion mistakes, films, music, laughter, love, faith, hope.
But the key is focusing your efforts on sharing the good stuff and not on spreading the bad. |
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