| Factors Influencing Marriage The common view in social science of love relationships is not that opposites attract each other but that like attracts like. People fall in love with others who share their interests and tastes and whose personalities are similar. Hill, Rubin, and Peplau (176) found only slight support for this view. On a great many characteristics, couples were not alike. On others, couples were only somewhat alike. Couples did tend to be about the same age, to be equally good-looking, to have similar IQ scores, to be of the same religion, and to want the same number of children. But on each of these things, quite a few couples differed from one another. In fact, on only one question did most agree on:whether they were “in love”. The early interviews failed to find that being alike was very important in bringing couples together. The follow-up interviews found that similarities were much more important in keeping couples together. Those who were together after two years were much more closely matched than couples who broke up, especially in terms of age, IQ, college plans, and looks. Thus, couples were much more likely to break up if one person was a lot smarter, better looking, or older. It is easy to imagine why these differences would matter. If one person is much smarter or more mature than the other, this could cause conflicts. If one person is much better looking, he or she will have more chances for other relationships. Yet other things that would seem as important turned out not to matter. Those who stayed together differed not at all from those who broke up in how alike they were on religion, sex role ideas, beliefs about sex, idealism, or the number of children they wanted. Surely, one might suppose that marked differences in sex role attitudes could cause friction or that religious differences might lead to breakups. But there was no evidence of this. In fact, conflict was not one of the main reasons people gave for breaking up. Most said they broke up because they got bored with the other person. Often this caused one of the pair to become interested in someone else, thus prompting the split. Perhaps surprisingly, the woman got involved with someone else far more often than the man. Also, women were much more likely to suggest a breakup than men,regardless of the grounds. However, people were more likely to remain friends after the breakup if the man asked for the split. This suggests that the male ego is more sensitive to rejection. 16 Most couples are about the same age, to be equally goodlooking, to have similar IQ scores and so on. A Right B Wrong C Not mentioned 17 Similarities within couples were most important in keeping couples together. A Right B Wrong C Not mentioned 18 In a marriage, conflicts are often caused by the diversity of intelligence. A Right B Wrong C Not mentioned 19 When one of the pair becomes interested in someone else, the marriage is most likely to break up. A Right B Wrong C Not mentioned 20 Most people hold the view not that opposites attract each other but that like attracts like. A Right B Wrong C Not mentioned 21 If a couple divorce without much conflict, they are more likely to remain friends after the breakup. A Right B Wrong C Not mentioned 22 The religious differences are usually a big reason for breakups. A Right B Wrong C Not mentioned |
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