短文写作要点 短文一般包括三部分: 1)开始段(opening Paragraph) 2)主体段(Body Paragraphs) 3)结尾段(Closing Paragraph) 开始段要说明或介绍写作的主题,要注意的是不要跑题。 主体段是短文的主体,可以是一段,也可以几段。一般情况下用于从不同的角度对短文的主题展开讨论或说明。 主体段要围绕着开始段的主题展开,内容要充实。扩展主体段的方式可采用前面提到的段落扩展方式,如:举例、排列顺序、因果、分类等。 请看下面的主体段: The reasons for no homework to the college students at the weekend are that the students really need a rest and some kind of entertainment. During the week days, they have 6 classroom houes a day. and five days a week. Even in the evening they are required to finish the course assignment, or write an essay. They are forced to occupy every minute for their study on the week days. They do need some time to enjoy themselves, watching TV, going to movie or dancing. Another reason is that some students need time to do what they are interested in. For example. some of them like reading novels or listening to music. they can use the weekend for their hobbits. 该主体段从几方面说明周末不要给学生留作业。其理由按照重要在前,次要在后的方式排列。在层次上较清楚,内容上较充实。 短文的最后一段是结尾段,通常需要以简洁的词语概括短文的中心内容,或再次说明作者的观点等。结尾段常采用以下几种方法: 1.以新的形式重申主题,总结主要观点; 2.针对文章讨论的问题提出解决的方案或解决的办法; 3.强调短文主题的意义及重要性。 在结尾段中,常用的词及词组有: in a word/ in conclusion/on the whole/in short/in summary/finally/to snmmarize/to sum up/ to draw (arrive at) a conclusion [作文点评]题目:Computer in Our Life 要点: 1.Computer has brought about big changes to our life. 2.Computer is a useful tool in our work and study. 3.Computer also brings us some trouble. Today, the computer is more and important in our life. It has brought great changes to our life like in education,medicine and traffic system. Take, for example, the traffic system is to control by the computer system,the traffic order became more better and the traffic accident happen to reduce. An additional example is our education, using computer system,we are able to learn lot of scientific knowledge without teachers and classrooms. The computer is also a very useful tool in our work and study. Opening Internet,we can get our friends electrical l4etter from whole world, and read recent materials of science and technology. So in our daily life, we have not left the computer. But we heard a lot the negative effects of computer. In particular,the virus of computer,it has cause some problems, for instance, the virus of computer can lead to useful information to lose. However,I believe that human must solve the problems of computer and make it more useful for our future. 这篇短文比较好地扣住了主题,以具体的实例说明计算机给我们生活带来的变化,三个例子从不同的角度说明了主题句。有关负面影响的实例的选择也很恰当。在句型和选词上有一定变化。可以达到B的水平。 但存在的语言问题有: 1.母语干扰的影响。这段短文中,有几句汉语式的表达较严重。第二段最后一句是,"在我们的生活中,离不开计算机","离不开"应用can't do without, 而写成了we have not left the computer. 第三段中,想表达"计算机病毒能够导致有用信息丢失",写成了can lead to useful information to lose. 应改写成can lead to the loss of the useful information. 2.句型错误。第一句中的"Take, for example, the traffic system..."应改为"For example,the traffic system is..."。 3.用词错误。Like in 应改成 such as in. Became more better 应改成became better. We heard a lot the negative effects of computer.应改成we have heard a lot about the negative effects of computer. 4.非谓语动词错误。The traffic system is to control by the computer systen and ...不定式需变成被动语态。应改写成is controlled.
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